A good day for my blood pressure

Well it was my Friday at work today. Fridays always go by quickly for me. Just knowing that the end of the week is approaching makes the hours easier to count.

I called time while I was on lunch to try to finally clear the air and move past that discomfort that has been there for so long. I never did get a call back though. Perhaps he is like me and responds well to messages but rarely checks his voice mail...especially with unknown numbers. I can't wait to just sit down and talk with the man. I have heard so many good thing that I think there is a good chance we could even become friends. Only time will tell.

After work was the usual Buddy time followed by a shower. Ever since I had heard that Kathrine was moving here things I had been planing how to move mine as well. I decided that I needed to send a text message and get this rolling. I was afraid it might push her away or give her the wrong idea but I saw no other way to get this done other than direct contact.

Later at her place I had arrived a bit early so I ended up talking with her grandmother and reading until she got home. When she got home we hugged and began talking about how things were going for each of us. Talking felt so good. Kathrine has always been such a good friend and the way we interact is just seamless. It is a good feeling to have. Soon enough we were sitting down eating some very fantastic lasagna...god I love that stuff. Dinner was followed by a trip to the neighbors to play with "fluffy" to encourage her to eat and to give her some much needed attention.

When we decided it was time we jumped in my car to take off to the storage area. On the way there she helped me with something I had been dealing with for a few days already. The knowledge that my parents had a miscarriage before they had me and that if they had that child that I would not be alive today. The feelings around that were full of pain and confusion about what I should be feeling. Kathrine helped me through that with a simple touch and some very simple but wise words. The fact that it came from her meant all the more to me.

By the time we got up to our level of the building there was so much emotional turmoil in my heart built up already. Then we opened the door and Kathrines things had been brought to the front and mine to the back. The DvDs and books had already been sorted though and all that was left was to move it. I wont lie, at that point my heart started to break almost completely. For so long I have known that this progress has been needed on both sides and all the hardship and impact that includes when it comes to our long standing relationship. I was making so much progress for myself but this whole time my heart had been breaking because I was unsure that there would ever be an "us" again. Seeing those DvDs split started to cement the idea that maybe there would never be another trip to the arboretum, we would never make dinner together again, we would never go up to the cabin and marvel at the stars that could be seen from the dock, never sleep in each others arms and most importantly I would never see that smile of hers and feel the warmth of her body as we hugged.

Right about that time she came up behind me and embraced me asking if everything was alright. We sat down and I explained that I thought everything that we were going through was happening just as it needed to be except for the pain involved, the unsure feelings and the distraction it was causing. She stopped me soon after, we stood up and embraced and she told me that she loved me. What followed was a release of tension and even pain that I was unsure would ever come. I remember going downstairs to grab a cart and I could not stop laughing. An overwhelming weight had been lifted from my chest and my body did not know how to react so I laughed and felt the best I have in a very long time. Then she scared me as I got out of the elevator. lol, I loved it. With that weight gone I feel my progress will come even faster and to greater effect. It was like trying to run a marathon with a 50 lb weight on your back.

After we were done with moving we had decided to go see "UP". A movie we had both wanted to see together for a very long time. It was great. Definitely a movie to own in the future.

As we gave our final embrace and kiss for the night I knew everything we have been doing is working just fine. We are doing what needs to be done and doing it right.

The future is ours for the taking.